When visiting or living in New Zealand it may be that a non-Maori person will need to attend a traditional Maori funeral, or tangi. It is considered very important for people who knew the deceased to go to the tangi to pay their respects and the ceremony is held over several days to give everyone a chance to do this. It is important to know the basics of the ceremony and what to expect in order to show respect for the participants.
Before the Tangi
A tangi will be held at the local marae (Maori meeting house and complex). Tangi can last for several days, and visitors can stay for as long as they prefer. If a visitor plans to stay overnight, they will need to bring a sleeping bag and toiletries, although a mattress, pillow and sheets will be provided. Staying in a hotel is another option. Here is more on the etiquette of staying in a marae. A small koha (donation) will be expected.
It is polite to pause at the entrance of the marae when visiting for a tangi, to wait for a group to build up, so the tangata whenua (the hosts) do not have to constantly perform the requisite welcoming ceremony for each arrival. The powhiri (welcoming ceremony) will be performed with the tangata whenua holding small sprigs of leaves in their hands as a sign of mourning. Here is more on how to behave at a powhiri.
What Happens at the Tangi
The Maori believe that the tupapaku (body of the deceased) should not be left alone until it is buried, and that the spirit of the loved one stays close until this time. So, the tupapaku is kept on the marae, usually in an open casket, and dressed in fine, ceremonial clothes. The people, and particularly the women who knew the deceased, will keep constant vigil over him or her.
The tupapaku is kept on the porch of the whare nui (meeting house) or in a temporary shelter. He or she will be talked to and wailed over and touched. This is to lessen the pain of those who have been left behind. When speeches are made, they will be addressed to the tupapaku as well as those present in body.
The Burial
The urupa or graveyard is often close to the marae, and there the tupapaku will eventually be laid to rest, usually with a funeral ceremony more familiar to non-maori, and according to the deceased’s religious beliefs. Remember that it is traditional to wash the hands when leaving the urupa, to remove the tapu (sacredness, or the forbidden). Water will be provided for this. If water is not provided, there will be home made bread, which is crumbled in the hands for the same reason.
The spirit of the loved one will then continue its journey to the tip of Aotearoa (New Zealand) and onward, to Hawaiki, the original homeland of all Maori. Traditionally, the spirit will leave Aotearoa at Cape Reinga, known to Maori as Renenga Wairua, by climbing down an old pohutukawa tree sited there.
While the unknown may be unnerving, with some preparation, a visit to a marae for a tangi can be a cathartic experience and a chance to say goodbye to a loved one. A visitor who shows respect and an open mind will find a warm welcome.
Rachel Sawaya - Rachel Sawaya is a freelance writer from New Zealand (who also has US citizenship), and currently lives in Auckland, the big smoke of New ...
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